Reading Elin~

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

"it is hard for a person to admit his/her mistakes,but if he/she does,he/she'll gain a lot of respects." that was what my dad told me when we were on our way to MP this morning and the weird thing is,he laughed out loud after he finished that sentence...
huh?why did my dad told me that out of nothing?i didn't do anything wrong...or did i?

Elin~ @ 7:07 PM | u hav sumthin 2 say?

why was i so down for the past few months?why was i feelin like nobody out there cared about me anymore?why was i so upset?so frustrated?so tired of growin up?was it because of my job?was it because i got so pissed off servin some rude customers?was it because i didn't get enough sleep for almost everyday?or was it simply because of the hormonal changes?

well..now i know why,because..it is a part of growin up.it suddenly dawn on my that i shouldn't have felt so sad.i shouldn't have wasted my time sighin over the things which i cannot change.it is only a part of the growin process and none of us can avoid it,and since it is unadvoidable and everybody is experiencin the same thing,then i shouldn't have thought that i was the only pathetic person in the whole wide world suffering from this 'disease'.i shouldn't have made it worse,i should've thought in a brighter,a more positive way.i should've accepted it,even though it is tough acceptin it but if i try i can definitely do it.i should've reached out to those who's in the same boat with me and together,we'll go through...=)

i guess stop workin is a good thing for me,my world suddenly brighten up so much.i can't say that i've fully recovered,but at least i am 70%.(hey this sounds like i'm sufferin from some mental disease rite?haha..never mind,you guys know that i'm not..=P ) thanks to the movie 'because of winn-dixie' coz it inspired me a lot.yeah it did and i learnt so much from the movie..it helped me realise that actually every one of us has our own problems,our own sadness and no matter how colourful our lives are,we do feel lonely at times.it's normal.it only depends on how u deal with it,whether in a positive way or a negative way.whether u choose to head on to ur future with a happy smile or u wanna stop where u are cryin over spilled milk and lead a life full of sorrow.

hehe...wat's with me crappin so much in here...hmm,all in all i just wanna tell those of u who cares that i'm okay now and sorry for wastin ur time in accompanyin me and hearin me tellin u that 'i'm so sien' all the time and thanks for tellin me that 'it's normal','it's gonna be alrite','dun think too much' etc etc,but stubborn me refused to believe it and continue to waste ur time tellin u that 'i'm so sien',bet you guys were frustrated with me..=) thanks for the concern!love u guys..hehe..and to those who are in the same situation as i were,everythin's gonna be alrite!trust me..=) go watch 'because of winn-dixie' or 'goodbye,quill'..it's gonna make a difference!

Elin~ @ 12:42 AM | u hav sumthin 2 say?

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

I haven't been doin exercise for such a long time already and i've been eatin cheese cakes for at least twice a week when i was workin in secret recipe..and now,i can see the effect..i'm gainin weight!!oh look at my tummy,my legs,my arms....arrggghhh...NO~~!! i'm a pig..*sob sob* i've gotta stop this,i'm gonna start keepin fit..i promise,i will stay away from junk food and i will exercise more often and i will not lay a finger on cheezy stuff and i will not sleep late and wake up late anymore!!from tomorrow onwards,here i come healthy lifestyle!!
but hey..wait a minute,i'm goin for satay celup tomorrow night and steamboat at jiun's house on friday night..oh god,i'm hopeless..keke..=P

Elin~ @ 3:32 PM | u hav sumthin 2 say?

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Just wanna let you people know that I'm currently JOBLESS now, which means you can ask me out anytime now, be it for shoppin or mamak-in or lepak-in or simply anythin...oh boy I'm so willing to accompany you! Hehe... Just in case you're wonderin why I've quit my job, well actually there's no special reason. It's just that I got sick of doin the same dull thing over and over again everyday so I've made up my mind to quit and goyang kaki at home. Yeah I know, I'm such a lazy fella...=P
As a prevention of me dying of boredom, I went to popular today just to buy some books and VCDs so that I have something else better to do other than goyang kaki. 2 books and a Japanese drama had actually cost me more than a hundred ringgit!! Wow, Now I know how hard it is to earn money and to have enough money to spend for luxury at the same time...Even though my heart bleeds when I pay for the books and VCDs and I know that I won't have enough money to last me until the end of April, but it's alright coz I know those books are definitely worth the money... =)
The curious incident of a dog in the night-time - a book which I saw when I was in Singapore a month ago, wanted to buy it but I didn't have enough money with me so i promised myself to get a copy when i'm back in malaysia.
The life of pi - a book strongly recommended by sue fin and i think it's definitely worth reading too...=)
arr...is there anythin else for me to write? *scratchin head* hmm..i guess that's all for today,i'm so sleepy..ZzzZzz..signin off now..see ya in my sweet dreams!

Elin~ @ 3:19 AM | u hav sumthin 2 say?

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one

-YELLOWCARD- "ONLY ONE"

love this song sooooo much!! =)

Elin~ @ 7:15 PM | u hav sumthin 2 say?

Friday, April 01, 2005

it's been such a long time since i last updated my blog.today, i'm sitting right in front of my computer trying hard to squeeze something out of my rusted brain to be typed and posted in my blog.but i'm just so...out of ideas.i was never that good in writing but it was never this bad.i find it difficult to put my feelings into words nowadays.sometimes i have so much to say,so many thoughts whirling in my mind,but i simply can't put them into words,and that hurts.it feels like there's not even a person in the whole wide world understands me anymore.if you're asking me why i'm feeling this way i'm really sorry,i don't even have an answer for myself...i guess i'm just feeling lonely?sometimes things change so much and time passes so fast that i'm not able to cope with it.i can't keep up my pace with the changes.when i think back of my past,oh..i simply miss the old days..T_T especially when i come back from lepak-ing with some old friends,i kind of feel an emptiness inside.yeah,all of us are still friends,but things are different now.i can sense that we're already starting to go on seperate path and common topics for conversation between us are getting lesser and lesser.years from now,i wonder if we'll still be friends...sad huh?but i guess i'll have to start getting use to this kinda situations and accept it with open heart.this is reality,and reality hurts.i bet most of you feel the same way as i do?or is it i'm the only one who's clinging on my sweet memories and refuse to let go?man..i just hate growing up.

Elin~ @ 11:42 PM | u hav sumthin 2 say?

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[Elin~][19][19850617][eileentai@hotmail.com][msn][melaka.malaysia][icq.126867349]

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